THE BAGPIPE AND THE FIDDLE

The BAGPIPE and the FIDDLE

(Catch words: bagpipe, balloon god, fairness)

Sanjay Adhiakri

There is a heated argument between the BAGPIPE and the FIDDLE

FIDDLE

What are you? A wheezing old man?

BAGPIPE

What about you? Some shrieking taut strings?

FIDDLE

This needs to be settled.

BAGPIPE

Let us invoke our gods.

FIDDLE

I have none.

BAGPIPE

I have one.

FIDDLE

Call him. He’ll be fair if he is a god.           

                                (BAGPIPE invokes the BALLOON GOD)

BAGPIPE & FIDDLE (FIDDLE just lip syncs)

Tell us O MIGHTY. Who is better?

BALLOON GOD

Of course BAGPIPE…

(Breaks into a convulsion of laughter. BAGPIPE joins him)

FIDDLE

You corrupt gas bags; you are nothing but full of lies and sham…

                                (Amidst the derision FIDDLE goes Irish)